If I were to say that today has not been one of my better days that would be a real understatement. I spent the day confined to not just my house but to my parent's room. Firstly because I was...well sick isn't the right word but fine, because I was sick. And secondly because my bro's idiot friend's were over and they wanted to use the XBOX and I wanted to watch my DVDs so I didn't really have much choice.

So my time was well spent, from 10.30 in the morning till 5.30 in the evening I was watching One Tree Hill season 3. I'm down to the last disc which has 4 episodes. I'm either gonna watch them later tonight or try my hardest to save them for tomorrow.

So far, with the exception of Diwali, this has been a pretty crappy week. I mainly looking forward to school because it'll not just get me out of the house and give me something to do but it's free aircon. We can just sit and bask in the coolness without having to worry about the increasing electricity bills.

The heat is really something. I swear I just walk from my block across the estate to the traffic lights and you and cook a egg on my head. Where is the rain when you need it?!! Isn't it supposed to be the rainy season now??!! C'mon stupid sky...let down all the water you're retaining. Even my fan at full blast doesn't help much now days...Jeez.

If you can't already tell I'm in a pretty crabby mood. I really feel like bitching about it here but the last time I wrote a venting post...well it wasn't good. So I'm not gonna. Well I'm gonna try not to. I can't help it if a sentence or two slips out.

Ok...I just stared at the screen for a few minutes not knowing what to write so I'm gonna bitch and if in the process anyone is hurt for once I'm saying heck care. I'm sick of caring about what people feel or think or whatever because of what I write. I'm being a little selfish bitch right now but for the moment I don't give a shit.

Last night was one of the worst nights ever. I had the biggest scare of my life and I wanted someone to talk to. My best friends, both are far away in two different ends of the world. So I turned to the people that I thought could help me calm down. Fine, I know it was like 1 in the morning and I wasn't expecting an instant reply and I'm glad that at least one person replied. But it kinda hurt that you didn't reply at all.

Right about now you, and everyone else who reads this blog, thinks I'm an overly dramatic, emotional person blah blah blah. I don't care. All I wanted was my friend to help me.

I know I'm being totally selfish.

I know I come off as a person who wants everyone to focus their attention on her and no one else.

I know I seem completely self centered and egotistical.

And if anyone believes that...then I have nothing to say.

I'm sick of wearing my heart on my sleeve, no matter how invisible it is to other, and getting it crushed every damn corner I turn. If not by this person then by that person. God, sometimes I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I didn't care about what others felt or thought. I can ignore it yes, but I can't stop myself from thinking about it after.

I'm getting off topic here...I have no idea how that happened.

I guess I'm done. There's so much more I would love to say but for the sake of not turning this into a venting blog again and becuase the whole heck care thing above really isn't me, I'm stopping.

Thanks Sonia for calming me down in the end.